Do you think it is really possible for someone to truly change who they are? I know in past blogs I have talked about how I am going to change for the better, etc. Yet I haven't. Can I really do it? Do I really want to? Or am I just trying to fake myself into thinking I want to change?
Is it possible for someone to change who they are, or how they acted in a situation in a span of a few months? Can someone really be different during the fall-spring, than they are over the summer? It's something that puzzles me. I want to believe that people change, but it's a trust issue to me. To hear what people tell me about the past shouldn't matter, but it does. It makes me wonder if everything that is happening, or all the things I've been told now are even true. I'm sorry if this is emo sounding, but having just had a deep conversation with someone about the past 4 years really got me thinking. Am I selling myself short? Going with what I have cause it is comfortable, because I want things to seem A-Ok? I don't know. Weighing pros and cons, cons seem to beat out pros. I want to change things, to be a different person for the better. I know I can. But can others? Do they themselves want to change, or do they say so to please others, to kid themselves also?
I shouldn't let things get to me so easily. I needed to hear what was said tonight in a way, a much needed conversation. But I didn't want to hear it, cause I don't know that it still applies. I guess it's one of those things that has to play out, see what lies ahead. I feel torn in so many directions, each tied to a different emotion and outcome of certain events. It's tiring. I have to just see what God has planned for me though.
