Lean on Me

Let me just say this first: I am exhausted, so if what I write makes no sense or seems all over the place-it probably is. :)

To me, a relationship is any sort of "ship" you have with something or someone. This can be relationships like boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, parent and child, or also friendships. I'm sure there is a better word to tie all of these together, but when I use the word relationship I am not necessarily referring to dating or marriage. Had to get that straight.

Relationship is defined as:

|riˈlā sh ənˌ sh ip|noun- the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected

The word "friend" means someone you like who also likes you. This liking involves a "friendship kind of" affection based often on personality and common likes and interests

This is important in life, to have relationships with people. Not all relationships are good or bad, some relationships don't even have an effect on your life. Yet there are those relationships that do affect you. You meet people that change who you are, that influence you for the good and the bad. People that come and go in your life, people that are always going to be there. But no matter what, these relationships are important.

Practically, they are crucial to emotional and personal development. We learn to become who we do in part through our history with relationships. Some people get stuck in their development in a self-absorption stage and never move forward into give-and-take relationships that inevitable require some level of death to the self. These people are not only friendless, but they usually tend to have a diminished capacity to give and receive love of all kinds, including marital love. But all that is beside the point. Relationships are good not only personally, but also for our moral development. I mean, it offers a second person with whom we share our thoughts, feelings, judgements and criticisms. A guy named Paul Wadell wrote “One reason we have friends is that there is a good we share with them, but the reason friendships grow and become such a delight is that we cannot be good without them, indeed, we cannot be good at all.”

The Bible shares many views on relationships, both romantic and friends. Eccles. 4 discusses the rewards of friendship, which are practical rewards. The psalms offer the fact that our friends will even betray us and that the search for a true friend will lead us to the conclusion that we can only rely on God. However, the value and pleasure of the bond between like-minded people is exalted in Psalm 133:1- “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity.”

Lately, I have been working on getting these relationships back with people that I had. People that I neglected for others. I pushed them to the side thinking it wouldn't matter in the long run if we were friends. And still right now, there are some people that I don't know if it is worth it. However, I will still try because I don't know, only God does. Someone that I think could be in my life 'forever' may only be around a short time, while someone I would think wouldn't last past college could turn out to be someone I share a porch and twenty cats with in my eighties. haha. For the record, I hope I don't become an old cat lady...anyways. I guess what I am trying to get across is that, think about the people in your life, the people that have come and gone because either they chose to leave or cut them out. Should you? Was it for your benefit or just bitterness. Think about the friendships you have, are they give and take more so on their side or yours, or do you actually neglect them as a friend. Kick them to the curb to pick them up whenever you want. Is it worth it? There are people who will be in your life whether you want them to or not sometimes, in my opinion. And for you, there is always going to be someone who you would take a bullet for though they could seem to care less. But don’t let their actions be a reflection for you to your other friends. Always be there for them, don’t cut them out because of an argument, a breakup gone bad, a difference in views, or over petty things. You never know when you may need them. I am grateful to the people that have not let me down or chosen to not be my friend again. Thanks for the second chance.

"A true friend can never have a hidden motive for being a friend. He can have no hidden agenda. A friend is simply a friend, for the sake of friendship. In a much greater way, love for God is love for God’s own sake. Bernard of Clairvaux wrote that our natural inclination is to love for our own sake. When we learn to love God, we still love him for our own sake. As we grow in friendship with God, we come to love him not just for ourselves alone, but also for God’s sake. At last, we may reach a point where we love even ourselves for the sake of God."

God shapes you to be who he wants. But don’t think for a second that what you do, how you act, or who you hang out with don’t also change you. God is love and God is friendship. He loved all and cared deeply about his relationships with people. Maybe we should too.

Something to ponder...